It’s an approach also backed by one leading clinical psychologist, who described it as the “first step” in separating herself from him and her previous life.
While the idea of cheating on a pregnant partner may sound shocking or absurd to some, according to Scott Haltzman, a clinical assistant professor of psychiatry at Brown University Medical School, “it’s probably more common than people suspect.”
Speaking to the website Parents, Haltzman put it down to the changes in the sex life of couples during pregnancy. “For many men, engaging in sex is a form of emotional closeness,” he said. “When their partners push them away, they feel rejected not just sexually, but also emotionally.”
In a Reddit post upvoted over 13,000 times, the expectant mom explained that her “soon to be ex” husband cheated on her with a work colleague and that they have been separated for some time now.
“We have been trying for a baby for 3 years and when I told him that I was finally pregnant he broke down and confessed,” she said. “I asked for divorce and he moved out.”
Now their baby is due in December and she is still keen to keep a distance from him. “I don’t want him to be in the delivery room with me,” she said. “I’m not punishing him but he isn’t my partner anymore. I don’t want him seeing my body.”
Explaining that it is normal to not “show our bodies” to people after breaking up, the woman said her decision has left her ex “beside himself with grief,” while others around them have accused her of being “evil” in denying him access.
Yet she remains unrepentant and while her stance may be a hardline one, for Dr. Vijayeta Sinh, a psychologist and relationship coach at TherapycouchNYC, it’s entirely understandable.
Dr. Sinh told Newsweek it was important to note that the husband had let his pregnant ex-partner down “at one of the most vulnerable times of her life when she needed him the most.”
‘Betrayal Cuts Like a Knife’
“For most women, this kind of betrayal cuts like a knife on a gaping wound. So if she decides that she no longer wants to have him in the delivery room, that would be a reasonable request,” she said.
“It would be the first step in terms of separating herself from him during an important time in her life (or their life) by taking a stand.”
Dr. Sinh added: “Mom really does not have much explaining to do here and neither is it her responsibility to reassure her husband. It’s his job to reassure her and let her know that he can respect her wishes and wants nothing but the best for her and the baby. The best thing for his family during the delivery is for mom to feel safe and comfortable, surrounded by those she trusts and loves, even if that’s not him.”
Those responding on social media echoed Dr. Sinh’s outlook on the situation, although the responses struck a significantly less diplomatic tone.
Recoverybae said: “He lost the right to be involved in his child’s birth when he broke your trust and your heart. Giving birth is one of the most vulnerable things a woman can do physically, and I wouldn’t want to expose myself or my newborn to someone I don’t trust.”
Jen12627 commented: “You want someone who makes you feel safe not someone that’s just going to stress you out and feel c*****” CrazyCatLadyForEva, meanwhile, concluded: “He forfeited the right to be in there with you when he cheated and basically ended the relationship. Nobody can stop him from being in the hospital, but that’s all he’s entitled to.”
Newsweek contacted the original poster for comment, but couldn’t verify the details of the case.
