We popped into a bar where hams hung overhead and barrels served as tables. Over glasses of bone-dry sherry I steered conversation toward the biggest to-do in Continental history–“enlargement” of the European Union, slated for May 1. The stitching together of Europe’s two halves–one well-developed and wealthy, the other rich in spirit but broke–has been rightly nicknamed the “Big Bang.” Never before have 25 countries and 455 million people voluntarily ditched long-nursed grudges and grievances to band together under one powerful economic-political-social umbrella that affects everything from tomatoes to taxes. Yet I was perplexed. Surveys I’d seen suggested that, for many Europeans, this historical uber-moment is in fact a big question mark. A 2002 Eurobarometer poll, for instance, showed that 60 percent of Spaniards couldn’t name even one of the new EU entrants. Surely this could not be. After all, enlargement is only five months away!
“So, Carlos,” I said to my friend. “You know those new countries joining the EU–can you name them?”
“Oh, sure,” he replied nonchalantly. “Turkey, of course.”
“Nope.”
“Bulgaria.”
“Nope.”
“Romania.”
“Nope.”
“Poland?”
“Si!”
“Well,” he snapped, “who else?” I offered up hints. “The three Baltic States” (Estonia, Latvia, Lithuania), “the two islands” (Cyprus and Malta), “the two countries that used to be one,” (Czech Republic and Slovakia), “the one confused with Slovakia” (Slovenia). “The one once married to Austria” (Hungary). Having successfully answered, with those clues, he stabbed an olive. “Never ask me that again!”
The next day I stopped by a cheese shop. Katarina knows well the 17 regions of Spain; she buys creamy cow’s cheese from Galicia, herb-crusted sheep’s cheese from Navarra and tangy goat’s cheese from Asturias. The new EU countries? “Turkey, of course. Bulgaria. Romania…” I shook my head. “Poland?” The language teacher I met up with later that evening didn’t trip into the Turkey-Bulgaria-Romania routine. “Oh, that’s easy,” she began. “Portugal, Greece, Ireland…” I shook my head. “They’re already in.” She looked stunned. “Really? How can I not know? I used to teach politics. Wait, how about Turkey?”
I’m happy to report that Europe’s low EU IQ seems to be rising. A 2003 EOS Gallup survey shows that half of Spaniards can now select three of the 10 Big Bangers–Poland, Hungary and the Czech Republic. Still, most can’t name all and 18 percent can’t identify even one. Whatever the reason–indecipherable Eurocratese, spotty media coverage or plain apathy–a blanket ignorance persists about what the EU is and what the increasingly powerful supranational government is doing. Europeans like to make fun of “stupid Americans” and their confusion about the world. What about ignorant Europeans, who can’t figure out their own backyard?
