Say something like, “Hey, you’ve seemed kind of anxious and tired lately. Is everything okay?” If they’re not in the mood to talk about it, respect their wishes. Just let them know that you are there if they ever want to talk. It’s possible your friend or loved one doesn’t even realize they are stressed out. Asking them how they’re doing may encourage them to reflect on their feelings and recognize that they are struggling. [1] X Trustworthy Source Mind U. K. -based mental health charity focused on providing advice and resources to anyone facing mental health problems. Go to source
Try saying something like, “I’m concerned about you, and I’d like to help in any way I can. Please don’t be afraid to talk to me or let me know if there’s anything I can do. ”
You could start by simply asking, “How can I help?” If they’re not sure how to respond to such an open-ended question, offer some specific suggestions. For example, “Do you want to talk about it?” or “Would it help to go do something fun for a while?”
Give them your full attention while they are talking. Put away your phone and turn off any noisy distractions, like the TV or radio. Be empathetic and ask them questions to let them know you’re listening and encourage them to reflect. For example, “Wow, that must have been tough. How did you feel when he said that?” Don’t be afraid to ask for clarification or rephrase what they are saying to make sure you understand them. For example, “So, it sounds like you’re feeling really overwhelmed with school work and also having some tension with your girlfriend. Is that right?”
Try saying things like, “That sounds really difficult. I’m so sorry you’re going through all that. ”
You could say, “Hey, I know things are pretty awful right now, but I really think it’s going to get better. This semester will be over soon, and then you’ll have a chance to rest. ”
For example, if they say, “Ugh, I’m such a failure. I can’t do anything right,” respond with something like, “Sure you can! Remember what a great job you did on that project last month?” Avoid vague or confrontational responses, like, “Stop talking that way! You know that’s not true. ”
Brainstorm with them about what their biggest stressors are. They’ll probably have some ideas of their own, but you can also help by offering your own observations or asking questions. For example, you might ask things like, “How are things going at work? Are you getting enough sleep?”
Make a list of their stressors and try to pinpoint which ones they can control and which ones they can’t. Maybe a messy house is one source of stress for your friend, but the task of cleaning up feels overwhelming. Say something like, “Okay, let’s take it one room at a time. How about we start with the kitchen and go from there?” You can also encourage them to drop obligations that aren’t really necessary or are causing them undue stress.
Some good stress-relieving activities include meditating, doing yoga, doing something creative, listening to peaceful music, reading a book, or spending time with friends.
For example, you might invite them to go see a movie you’ve both been excited about, take them to an art class with you, or invite them out for coffee at their favorite café. Physical activity is another great stress-buster, so consider going for a walk or playing a round of squash at the gym.
For example, you might say, “Hey, how about I make dinner tonight so you can relax for a bit?” Don’t offer to take on anything that you aren’t confident you can handle—otherwise you may cause yourself undue stress!
If you’re really worried about them, you could call a local crisis line and ask for advice. They can offer tips on how to help your friend cope or connect you with resources that can help. If you’re a minor, talk to a trusted adult about what your friend is going through. You could reach out to a parent, a teacher, or your school counselor or nurse.
